Bender vs. Roger
bender_vs__roger_by_omnicidalclown1992_db9mebj-fullview.jpg|OmnicidalClown1992 Description Futurama vs. American Dad. Its a battle between a jerky alien and a criminal robot from adult cartoons. Introduction Boomstick: Whenever someone tells me cartoons are just for little kids, I make sure to recommend certain shows with characters who are definitely not for immature audiences. Wiz: Like Bender, the cigar-chomping criminal robot from Futurama. Boomstick: And Roger, the multi-persona amoral alien from American Dad. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Bender Wiz: In the year of 3000 and so on, the future is exactly what most people would expect. Interplanetary travel is as commonplace as driving, aliens live among us and people travel around in tubes. Boomstick: And of course, there are robots, created to serve, do manual labor, or indulge in hedonism. Looking at you Hedonism Bot. Wiz: And one of these lines of robots are the Bending units. Boomstick: Who manipulate the four elements with martial arts. Wiz: No, not The Last Airbender Benders. Bending units are robots tasked with bending girders of construction metal, ready to be used in building projects. And one such robot was so good at his job, his middle name was literally 'bending'. Boomstick: Bender Bending Rodriguez, better known by his friends and Zoidberg as Bender. *Background **Full Name: Bender 'Bending' Rodriguez **Age: Thousands of years due to time travel **Height: 6' **Bending Unit **Planet Express company chef **Fueled by booze **Once worshiped by tiny Christians Wiz: Including his best friend, Philip J. Fry, a man frozen in cyrostatis and thawed out to the new century. Boomstick: Fry and Bender both hit it off quickly, so when Fry went to work for his elderly nephew Professor Hubert Farnsworth, Bender followed, getting a job as company chef for the delivery crew Farnsworth employs to fund his experiments. Popup: Before working for Planet Express, Bender used to bend girders for Suicide Booths. Once he found out what he was doing, he tried to kill himself in one. That's how he met Fry in the first place. Wiz: Now that sounds like a good way of making money for my inventions. I've been getting by with change found on the streets. Boomstick: Whilst I get by with change I steal from you that you find on the streets. Wiz: Wha-hey! Boomstick: Oh, don't go getting angry at me Wiz, Bender does the exact same thing. Wiz: Not to self, install razor blades in the slot of my piggy bank. But yeah, Bender is well known for his hobby of stealing anything he likes. *Arsenal and Abilities **Bending **Extending limbs **Super strength and speed **Durable body **Flaming burps **Hammer-space chest cavity Boomstick: And he's good at it too, stealing all sorts of valuable and well-guarded items, usually in the span of just a day, or even less. Wiz: As a robot and befitting his occupation, Bender possesses superhuman strength and speed. His metal body is incredibly resilient to damage and features extending arms and legs. Boomstick: And my personal favorite technique of mine is when Bender takes a swig of booze and lets out a flaming burp. But above all else, his most signature technique, the greatest ace in the hole, is that he can open and shut his chest compartment at will! Wiz: Well, it's certainly unorthodox but how is it his greatest technique? Boomstick: Because it let's him bust out nearly any item, like weapons. He has futuristic laser guns, including one called a Planetary Annihilator. *Arsenal **Free Will Unit **Laser guns **Knife **Hammer **Banach-Tarski Dupla-Shrinker (Replicating Device) **Gaydar Wiz: Likely a hyperbole, but the beam does appear to get bigger the further it travels, so it could theoretically expand to the size of a planet if given enough time. Boomstick: And it was used for a duel. No kill like overkill right there. If Bender even wants to scale back his arsenal, he also has knives, mallets, spare beer bottles and a weird cloning photocopier. Wiz: That would be the...oh lord, I'm not even going to try and pronounce that, so let's just call it a Replicating Device. By eating any kind of matter, Bender is able to spawn two smaller duplicates of himself and they can do the same thing. Boomstick: His Chest Cavity may be useful for busting stuff out, but Bender can also store stuff inside, like all the priceless treasures he stole when he traveled back in time with the Time Sphere. *Feats **Dragged a woolly mammoth **Withstood atmospheric re-entry **Stole treasures from throughout history **Bent an unbendable girder **Conquered Earth in a separate timeline **Helped move the Earth with his exhaust **Survived a bomb exploding inside of him **Defeated Flexo, Calculon, Langdon Cobb Wiz: He once even stole, if you count digging it out of the ground as stealing, a frozen mammoth corpse. That's nearly nine tons Bender's dragging. Popup: Bender has also been able to lift Dark Matter, which is described as weighing "as much as thousand suns". Whilst this is more than likely hyperbole, Dark Matter is consistently portrayed as incredibly heavy. Boomstick: Bender's also incredibly tough. He's survived re-entering the atmosphere like a meteor, continued to function after his entire body was blown to bits and even withstood a doomsday device going off inside of himself. A similar model was able to destroy a large spaceship. Wiz: He even helped contribute to a burst of energy to push Earth further out of the sun's orbit to help battle against one of the greatest villains; global warming. Seriously people, buy an electric car or at least turn off sockets and lights when you're not using them. Boomstick: And once, he even became a god. Not just to those little aliens, but a full blown one with the universe as his processor. But Bender has his own faults. Wiz: Like his addictive personality and his impulsiveness when it comes to committing felonies. Plus, he doesn't always keep the various upgrades he gets, like his transformation into godhood. Boomstick: Yet Bender always proves he's one rude, crude and cool robot dude. Roger Wiz: The CIA. In the world of Seth McFarland, not only are they charged with keeping the world safe from terrorism, like the real world- Boomstick: Sometimes. Wiz: They are also in charge of the development of scientific breakthroughs and sinister secrets. Little do they know that, ironically, one of their most devoted members, Stan Smith, kept his own sinister secret from them. Boomstick: It all started when Stan got in a spot of trouble in a mission gone wrong whilst looking for a target, before said target ended up saving him. Wiz: Owing his savior a debt, Stan allowed him to hide from the CIA at his home. But let's dispense with the vagueness; this was Roger the Alien. *Background **Full Name: Roger Smith **Age: 1601 **Height: Est. 4'10 **Hides at the home of a CIA agent **Runs a bar in the attic **Sexual orientation is all over the place **Poops out jewel encrusted gold poos Boomstick: Like any notable alien from fiction, Roger is famous for being the alien who crash landed in Roswell, New Mexico and being held in Area 51 before the whole escape-and-getting-a-CIA-Agent-to-owe-him-a-life-debt thing. Popup: Roger actually crashed into Earth once before Roswell during pioneer times. Wiz: And whilst being a CIA agent would naturally make Stan's life more than a little extraordinary, it wouldn't be until Roger came to live with his family that things really got hectic for him. Because Roger is completely uncontrollable. Boomstick: As things went on, Roger went from an effeminate little scamp to a full-blown psychopath, actually delighting in seeing other die. You know, seeing such an evolution makes me think of two other people I know, but I can't quite put my finger on it... Wiz: You and me both. Boomstick: I think it about it more later. Anyway, Roger gets embroiled in a ton of activities, both illegal and otherwise. Wiz: All of which involve his main gimmick; his ever-changing Personas. *Arsenal **Personas ***Various disguises ***Has over 200+ **Guns **Flamethrower **Switchblade **Baseball Bat Boomstick: Each one with a fully flushed out life of their own; Valik the bounty hunter, Sgt. Pepper the toilet cleaning soldier, Demitri Krotchliknoiff the Russian exchange student from Russia, Ruby Zeldastein, Rashid the Persian, Laura Vanderbooben, the Phantom of the Telethon, Jenny Fromdabloc, Ricky Spanish, Clip-Clop the therapy horse, Horse Renwa and even the Predator. Wiz: If we continued to list off Personas, we'd be here all day, so let's just say that each disguise let's Roger hide from anyone who isn't the Smith Family and since Roger can flawlessly replicate all the skills and requirements necessary for each disguise, it's a safe bet to say he has a ton of know-how. The extent of his Personas is so great that he has an entire factory dedicated to creating them. Boomstick: Too bad they aren't the Stand-like Personas, although I'm pretty sure he could disguise himself as Joker or Yu. He also has a lot of weapons, like guns, a flamethrower and like any bartender, which is his favorite pastime, carries baseball bat to deal with any troublemakers. What's more, for someone who doesn't think he has any superpowers, he actually does. *Powers **Superhuman speed **Electric fingers **Mind reading **Regeneration **Fire resistance **Longevity **Can enter dreams **Can survive in space Wiz: Aside from the uncanny ability to make people actually believe his disguises, Roger also possesses the ability to zap people to death, read their memories with probing, regenerate entire body parts and is flame retardant. Boomstick: He possesses a long lifespan, having lived for about 1600 years and can even survive in the vacuum of space. Let me tell you, it's not just lacking oxygen out there, it's also incredibly cold. Wiz: But one of Roger's most notable powers he's shown is the ability to move faster than what humans are able to see, appearing to be another more than a blur, and sometimes not even that. Boomstick: It let him set a dummy of himself right in front of a bus as it was still moving! I'm not sure we can even calculate that! *Feats **Pushed away a tree **Moved faster than a moving bus **Survived being dissected **Escaped the Bang Kwang Maximum Security Prison **Created ecstasy **Took over Christmas **Sneaked around whilst driving a limo **Defeated Stan Smith, Henry, Chaz Wiz: Well, seeing as how he went faster than the eye could see, it's likely he's coordinating and moving himself at 1/8th of a second, as said on this very wiki. For reference, the speed of a human blink is about 1/10th of a second. Boomstick: He's not just fast, but also rather strong, able to push a tree which could weigh up to 18 tons with leg strength alone. Wiz: Thanks to his regenerative ability, Roger's survived being dissected by an alien hunter, his entire lower half being bitten off and even a car explosion. Popup: In one story, Roger survived being in an atom smasher and the subsequent explosion, however, this is a non-canonical event. Boomstick: But we're barely scratching the surface of what Roger can do with his Personas. In fact, without them an entire town would descend into chaos. Wiz: But of all Roger's faults, which include his cowardice, selfishness and impulsiveness, it's often his Personas that are the cause. Sometimes, they can end up taking lives of their own or even increasing Roger's psychotic nature. Boomstick: But that's only ever really a bad thing for whoever gets in Roger's way and trust me when I say you do not want to get in this alien's way.. Interlude Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, time to end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle! The Battle Outcome Next Time Trivia *The connection between Bender and Roger is that they are immoral and criminal supporting characters from adult cartoon shows who are friends with humans. Furthermore, both have had similar exploits and are Sci-Fi beings; a robot and alien respectively. *This battle would have been in 2D *The original music of this battle would have been called 'Cartoon Criminals', referring how both are from cartoons and have performed illegal acts Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Deathbattlewatcher5 Category:'Robot vs Alien' themed Death Battles Category:Anti Hero themed Death Battles Category:'Gun Fights' Themed Death Battles Category:'Fox Vs Adult Swin' themed Death Battles Category:'TV Shows' themed Death Battles Category:'Cartoons' themed Death Battles Category:'Sidekick' themed Death Battles Category:Joke Death Battles